The haircut, the camping trip and the message in the bottle!

I have managed to cross a few items off my list.  Here's how it all went down!

FL No 44:  Cut my hair. Off.

No big lead up or dramatics (for a change) in respect of this particular event.  In fact, I could barely wait to get my hair cut once I had made the decision to do it.  Although I am not yet convinced that short hair is my thing, I am not unhappy with the result.  Evidence below:

FL No 2:  Have one successful camping trip.  Emphasis on "successful"

Okey dokes, so here's the thing.  Before I launch into how successful or otherwise my camping trip was, let me explain why this even ended up on the list.  I have been camping exactly 3 times in my life.  Each and every time sucked ass.  No 1 was when I was in my late teens and a group of friends and I decided to go camping - not at a proper camp site or anything.  Just pitched our stuff on the bank of some arb river outside Joburg, followed by copious amounts of alcohol consumption, swimming and more alcohol. Until eventually we fell asleep under the stars.  Sounds like fun hey?  Except that when I woke up to a strange menacing face leaning over me my heart almost stopped dead in its tracks.  We had been set upon by pirates.  They made off with a random selection of our belongings and ALL of our cigarettes.  There was luckily no alcohol left for them to take but the loss of the ciggies was so traumatic that one of our friends (admittedly it had been a rough night and he wasn't thinking all that clearly) put together a bunch of reeds from alongside the river and tried to make his own - just so he could get smoke in his lungs. I shit you not!

Anyway, move on a few years later to when Steve and I (in our infinite wisdom) decided to go white water rafting on the Doring River.  To cut an extremely long, painful and traumatic story short I almost drowned about a hundred times, was abandoned on a rock at the top of a moerse rapid, had to get back into my icicle covered wetsuit at dawn's crack on day 2 (this was mid July just by the way) and suffered the indignity of making like a bear in the woods.  If one judges success based on pure survival, then it might have been marginally successful.  If one has higher standards, however, then not so much.

We then move on to camping episode no 3.    The dreaded school camp-out you are obliged to attend when your kid starts Grade 1.  We borrowed the requisite camping gear and headed off, confident and impressive looking.  And ended up not sleeping a single minute because our blow up mattress blew down and sleeping on the floor, on an incline, on a bed of pebbles and boulders, did not lead to a peaceful night's sleep.  Then, when we hauled ass out of the tent at around 04h20 or some such ungodly hour, my 6 year old daughter was missing.  Just missing.  Gone.  Eventually after the search party had looked under the prefabs expecting to find her lifeless body, and we had searched the toilets and behind the buildings and I was a complete blithering wreck, Miss Muffett popped her well rested, cheerful little head out of another tent where she had been visiting a new friend.  If you believe in corporal punishment, you can imagine what ensued. If not, then let's move swiftly on.

So now we come to camping episode No 4.  My fabulous friends Ulla and Marina share a birthday on 13th Feb and decided that this year we needed to do something different.  Camping.  Some brave souls went through on Friday night and others (me included) on Saturday.  I figure that way I stand a better chance of it being a successful camping trip if it only consists of one night.  I once again borrowed equipment, mentally steeled myself, packed in my loo paper and put on a brave face.

Saturday morning arrived and I picked up my partner in crime, Monique.  Aside from getting a little lost on the way (yes I know, Langebaan is pretty damn hard to miss - let's move on), we arrived safe and sound - if a little hot and and a lot thirsty.  First things first, the tent was set up - not by me, but still. A success.

We have shelter!

Then we needed to re-hydrate. More success.

Cheers!

After some rehydration and bonding and a little more rehydration we decided it was time to cross another item off the FL list - no 37: Launch a message in a bottle into the ocean.  Simple right? haha ... just hold on to them horses kemosabe!  All started off well, with everyone penning a short and occasionally inspirational comment on the note.  There was a wide variety of depth - from "life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" all the way down to ".... is mos" and "wys jou muis" (I know right - my friends!!)

Ulla penning her pearls of wisdom

Then we had to wait for low tide.  So we rehydrated some more, swam a few times, drank punch, had some tequila, braai'd way too much meat (South African style), and patiently waited for low tide. Still a successful camping trip.

Just one interjection here.  I find it so funny (and not at all awkward) that, when camping, every time you do the toilet run you take your loo paper with you.  Inevitably, on the long walk to pee-dom, you meet up with all manner of people, equally armed with bog roll, heading to the same venue.  Completely min gespin. What happened to privacy and decorum?  On the upside - there was no need to make like a bear on this particular camping trip!  Success? Hell yeah!

Eventually it was time to launch the bottle.

Message in a bottle!

A group  of us headed down to the beach, in high spirits (so to speak), and with much ceremony I launched the bottle into the water.

Launch!

Approximately 45 seconds later the bottle returned to the beach!!  Seriously!  We took turns - some taking two - in an attempt to launch the bottle beyond the breakers and ensure that it wasn't returned to sender.  No luck.  Eventually, my intrepid and insane friend Shantal whipped off her pants and went hurtling into the water, bottle in hand, and waded beyond the breakers to deliver our message.  However, when she returned  to the beach, soaking wet and freezing cold, the bottle was not far behind her!  Bugger that.  We decided that we would resume our efforts come daylight and made our way back to the rest of the group.

Back to camping - the heat (!!) eventually started affecting my ability to make complete sentences and I decided to call it a night.  Unfortunately due to the fact that my head was thumping, I had camels walking up and down my tongue, and it felt like I was lying on a bed of bricks, I had pretty much no sleep.  Nada.  Tossed and turned the whole night.  At around 06h30 - with seagulls squawking overhead, the sun already beating its way into the tent and waves crashing on the beach, I called it quits and emerged.  Not a pretty sight, let me tell you!  Success? I think not!

After a hot shower, approximately two litres of Sprite, two bouts of teeth brushing, two Panados and a Myprodol, I was ready to say hi to the rest of the group!  Thank all the angels in heaven that Karen had coffee on the go - without which I might have expired!

There was still the remaining issue of the bottle.  Luckily we had two paddle boarders with us!! Yay! So Berno graciously agreed to take my bottle out ..... waaaay out .... and send it on its way.

This picture will not turn the right way around.  It refuses.  Deal with it!

It's entirely possible that the bottle made its way back to shore but I was gone before that happened so I choose to see the launch as a success.  Maybe one day someone will email and say, "hey I found your bottle" in some foreign language.  I hope it's not the coast guard!

Back to camping!  The brilliant and beautiful team of girls put together an exceptional breakfast (none of it on the weight loss approved plan - oh well), after which we decided it was time to pack up and head on home.  I felt like shit.  It was horribly hot.  And we still had the long, boring, West Coast road to travel.

Bottom line though - from the above, when measure is taken, aside from one little hiccup in terms of not sleeping - I declare the camping trip a success.  We had a great time, laughed loads .... and loads more ..... and it was totally worth it!  So .... there you have it - two for the price of one!

Items No 2 and 37 done and dusted.

Update on the progress of items 17 (get a tattoo with colour) and 46 (run a (short) race)

As regards the tattoo, I have found a design I like (which will need a little modifying, to make it mine), have identified where on my body I would like it and have received the quote. R1000.  Not too hectic.  I have a beautiful silver piggy bank next to my bed which I am now using for the purpose of saving for my tattoo. I reckon it has around R47 in it so far.  Not long to go now ......

The running thing.  8km on 20th March.  This one is more terrifying than any tattoo.  Divine has started helping me get my legs ready for this - which is why I am currently doing the George Burns shuffle.  I need to get my endurance up and work on my core.  I have a pretty weak back and creaky knees so this is why preparation will be key.  Luckily a number of established runners have given me some great tips which I will be implementing along the way.  Moenie worry nie, watch net!

T
x

The Camel, the Absinthe and the Kongos!

The pressure is on - big time - to continue blogging at the end of my original Giving a Toss series.  The problem I was faced with, however, was the subject matter.  What on earth would I write about?  Then inspiration sorta hit as I was driving to work one morning and Goldfish's Get Busy Living started playing on radio.  What about a bucket list?  Except that a bucket list is made up of shit to do before you die.  I instead decided to rather do a Fucket List - shit to do while I am still alive. And then write about it.  The list will include all manner of kak - from the inane and simple like baking a cake from scratch, to the bigger, more adventurous type of stuff like climbing a mountain and whatnot.  Something else to note is that yes, I have done some of the things below in the past, but that doesn't exclude me from wanting to do them again!  I can also do them as and when I choose - which means the posts will either come fast and furious, or slow and steady(ish).

So here is what I have so far - in no particular order of desire or completion schedule (subject to change with complete disregard for your feelings):

1.  Bake a cake from scratch.  No pre-mixes or anything.  Everything from scratch.
2. Have one successful camping trip.  Emphasis on "successful".
3. Climb a mountain.  Preferably a small one.

4. Master the art of stand up paddle boarding.
5. Take a pole dancing class.
6. Sing one entire song in public (not necessarily all by myself).
7. Be part of a flash mob (even if the mob is only made up of two!).
8. Learn to ride a bicycle without falling off.
9. Having something I have written published.  By someone other than me.
10. Learn how to swear in at least 4 different languages (one of which must be sign language).
11. Go an entire day without swearing even once.  Not in any language.
12. Ride a camel.

13. Go to an outdoor music festival.
14. Have an artsy, slightly risque photo shoot before everything has sagged to below my knees.
15. Invest in something or other on the stock market.
16. Write a poem.
17. Get another tattoo - but this time with colour.
18. Learn a dance.  A real one - not just me moving my hips, waving my arms and making duck lips.
19. Make a candle.
20. Do something really nice for a complete stranger.
21. Write a letter to someone famous .... and post it.
22. Go to the ballet.
23. Go to the opera.
24. Make a paper lantern which, when lit, will (apparently) fly into the sky.

25. Find a waterfall and stand under it.
26. Dye my hair (or a piece thereof) some extreme colour - like pink or blue or purple or some such.
27. Take a photo a day for 7 days of something which specifically catches my eye.
28. Read the entire 50 Shades series.  (hehehe). Aint nobody got time for this shit!
29. Read the biography or autobiography of someone I truly admire.
30. Successfully make a macaroon.
31. Sleep under the stars.
32. Milk a cow.

33. Go to the drive-in.
34. Go for a run with Mojo.  And then the next day with Sandy.
35. Make a bar of soap.
36. Learn how to hula hoop.
37. Launch a message in a bottle into the ocean.
38. Donate blood.
39. Go on a hike. A long one.
40. Build a sand castle.  A big elaborate one.
41. Draw or paint something - and finish it. Other than the house.
42. Make a tie-dyed something or other.

43. Run into a shop dressed in a Victorian outfit (or spacesuit) (!!!) - and shout "what year is it?".  When someone responds 2013 shout "it worked" and run out again. (Uhm thanks Delia .... I think!)
44. Cut my hair.  Off.
45.  Make butternut and sweet potato soup from scratch, and not ready-made from Woolies!
46.  Run a race - a short one!
47. Have High Tea at the Mount Nelson / Table Bay Hotel.
48.  Go wash penguins when they get all gross and oil slicky.
49.  Go paintballing.  With girls.
50.  Do not say the word "no" for an entire day.  Other variations, however, are allowed!
51. Visit a medium.
52.  Survive to July 2061 to see Haley's Comet return!
53.  Carve a face into a pumpkin.
54.  Play beer pong.
55.  Eat ice cream for one day.  Only ice cream. Or maybe custard. Or ice cream and custard. 
56. Go white water rafting. Again.
57.  Drink a shot of Absinthe.

58. Learn to play a didgeridoo.
59.  Go for a session of reflexology.
60. Host a dinner party in the dark.
61. Go to the Sexpo!
62. Celebrate a birthday with Cassi - either hers or mine or some strangers, but celebrate regardless.
63. Get yet another tattoo (yeah I know) but this one has to include colour! 
64.  Do the Impi Challenge. 
65. Vine Hopper Wine Tour Stellenbosch.  'Nuff said!
66. Go on a helicopter ride.
67. Fly a kite. Don't judge.
68. Spend an entire day at a spa getting pampered.
69. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal shelter or children's organisation other than the one I work for!
70. Go to a big fat Greek wedding.  Best I meet some Greek folk then right ....
71. Go vegetarian for one week.  Ok 5 days.  Please note I said vegetarian and not vegan!
72. Dance in the rain.  The gentle, sweet rain - not the gail force hail infused rain we get sometimes!
73. Zipline.
74. Make and use a water slide in the back yard! 
75. Swim in the sea during a rain storm.
76.  Run and finish a half marathon.

Clearly this list is subject to change and adaptation and personal interpretation. :)  I have a camping trip coming up soon, so will be doing my best to sort No 2 quick smart!  I actually feel like Earl right now, knocking shit off his karma list.  Boom!

Also - and this is an essential element - there are very few of the above items which I can do alone. But most of them I cannot do alone. So .... if you wanna be my partner in crime in any specific item, yell!! Loudly.

On that note, the lyrics from The Kongos, Come With Me Now come to mind:

Afraid to lose control

And caught up in this world

I've wasted time, I've wasted breath

I think I've thought myself to death

I was born without this fear

Now only this seems clear

I need to move, I need to fight

I need to lose myself tonight

See you soon my beauties!
T
x